I believe that my chronic pain came from an unbalanced life. I was too focused on the material things and not taking care of myself. I got caught up in the haves and have nots. I lost focus on what matters in life, health. I had to reach rock bottom before I could change.
After a year of splint therapy treatment, I was not crippled by pain anymore. I still had a tough time, but it was much more manageable. I could actually work for more than four hours before my brain turned to mush. Being able to think again brought me out of survival mode and into living mode. I realized that I was a different person than I was before, my brain had been rewired. I did not understand what made me happy anymore, or what to do with myself, I decided I needed professional help.
Every doctor that I visited focused on treating my symptoms, which was helpful, but they never dug down and got to the root of my problems. Once my pain levels lowered enough so I could function and actually make decisions again, I realized that I was completely lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to do for a career anymore or even just for fun. I was involved with a networking group and in that group there was a Life Coach. She always told us that she helps you knock out the blocks and get what you want out of life. I knew I needed help making a change and she was right there. So I set an appointment with her and got to work. I was only sure of one thing. I wanted a change. I had no idea what was going to happen, but I knew that I had to go into it with an open mind and work hard on it.
My life coach listened to my story and we did various exercises to help me find direction leading to personal fulfillment. She would give me homework to read different books on my own that would help support what we talked about in session. Gaining perspective on my own emotions can gave me a new found strength.
The next tool she showed me was EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique); which is a mishmash of hypnosis, tapping, acupressure, and meditation. It helped me because it told my brain this is how I am going to deal with emotions. A lot of repressed issues can evaporate through the use of EFT. Proper training and guidance is essential to effective implementation, but here is a story to give you the basics:
EFT was a real life saver on 6/16/13, Father’s Day. My dad called to tell me that my grandfather died while I was in the car with my girlfriend at the time heading to her family’s church. At first it didn’t seem to bother me, until we got to the service. The pastor was talking about how his upbringing was so “hard” because his father was always on his case and super present in his life. My childhood was not that way. Growing up my father was not the positive role model that the pastor was describing. He was an alcoholic, which eventually lead to divorce. I could feel the anger and hurt feelings boil up of being surrounded by people that had a nuclear family that was still together and that was supportive. I knew that he was going to end his sermon with saying that he was so thankful for his father in the way that he raised him, but I couldn’t listen anymore. I ran out of the church crying. I couldn’t stop. I was shaking for the next 30 minutes. The service was over and everyone was coming out. They were all going to brunch just a block away. I had to pull myself together and in that moment I remembered EFT. I knew that I had just the tool to help me. First step was to create my intention statement.
“Even though I am angry and upset that I didn’t have the father figure I wanted, I love and approve of myself. I now chose to forgive and release all negative emotions so that I can live a happy life.”
Then I proceeded to tap these areas with my fingertips until the emotions are released.
After a few minutes of EFT I felt relieved and refreshed. That day I released all of those pains, they have never come back to haunt me. Cleaning out my closet of painful memories and emotions didn’t just help reduce my TMJ pain; it made my whole life better. Everything was brighter, food tasted better, sex was better, and anything else you can think of was better. My mind was freed from a negative past patterns, and I was able to focus on making a bright future.
My life coach and I worked on all the areas of life; career, relationships, money, home, etc. Once I had the emotional stuff worked out, she helped me created a vision for my future which filled me with vitality. The past three years that I was imprisoned by pain, I was just trying to survive. Scraping by with low energy and low cash flow was done. Now it was my time to thrive!
Finding your coach
When choosing a life coach it is essential that they are someone that you will respect and will listen to. I suggest that your life coach is:
- Established and living the way they want to. They shouldn’t be struggling; you want to learn from someone who is living their dream.
- Speak with some of their clients before you work with them. Find out how they liked working with them and how it benefited them.
- It is beneficial if they have a process/structure. Ask what if there are a minimum amount of sessions focusing on certain areas. Ask if there will be homework and what that may look like.
Once you choose a coach, remember it is going to be hard work. You are changing patterns that you have been following for a long time, if not your whole life. Go into it with an open mind, listen with intent, and follow through. They are a coach; you have to do the work. They are there to guide you along the way.
There are different types of life coaches that focus on different areas of life. Some will be better at business, some will focus on happiness, and some will focus on financial. Try to have an idea of the areas that you want the most help in before you sit down with them. If they are a good coach, they will open your eyes to a whole different area of your life that you have been neglecting.